Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
