Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
