Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Don't make out with my wife yet
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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