could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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