i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
