I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize