Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
