Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I cockslap morals
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
