so that wasnt chicken after all
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
