We won't sleep together?
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
