yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
