I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
