if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
