Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
