maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
