She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
