I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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