So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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