I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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