You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
