oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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