whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
