They should really pass out barf bags in church
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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