he thought i was a dude.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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