It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
