a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
