so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Randomize
