I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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