"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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