He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
