I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
