The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I got her a Nickelback box set.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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