The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
