Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
