Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
