just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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