I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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