I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
