I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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