I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize