Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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