its not stalking. its research.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
