glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize