So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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