Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
