I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
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