I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
