He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
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