Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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