I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
