She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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