Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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