Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
