let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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