At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
