I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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