Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
she told me i tasted like america
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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