The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
