So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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