Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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