HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
