My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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