i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
