When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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