she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Randomize
